The Female Proposal
Submitted by Angela on Tue, 12/08/2009 - 13:28
I’d like to think I’m a pretty open-minded person. I’m all for women’s equality, and I believe women have a right to make their own decisions in life. If a woman wants to be a CEO, go get it girl! If a woman wants to stay home to be a mother and wife, more power to her. If a woman wants to do something in between, or something completely different, even better! (You get the picture.) But, there is one thing I’m not quite sure how I feel about women doing—proposing marriage.
Now, I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong for a woman to propose marriage, but I just don’t think it is something I would ever do myself. Maybe I’m being naïve, but I still have hopes of a romantic proposal involving my husband-to-be on one knee.
The most recent data I could find was from a 2003 survey by Korbel that revealed 48 percent of women would propose to their man. Furthermore, 80 percent of men said they would accept such a proposal. I wouldn’t be surprised if these numbers were even higher today.
But the concept of a woman asking a man to marry her is not new. In fact, such an idea dates back to 5th-century Ireland, when women were allowed to propose marriage only on Leap Day. Today, the rules have changed, and more and more women are popping the question. Sales for male engagement rings are also reportedly on the rise.
In the end, I have nothing against women who propose to men. I think it is ignorant to say that “men should always propose” or that “women should never propose,” because there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. Although I feel it is becoming more conventional, I still want my future husband to be the one to ask for my hand in marriage—not the other way around.
Should women propose marriage? Why or why not? Do you know any women who have proposed? What happened?
-Angela is a blogger for The Sorbate. Check out her bio to see where her view comes from.
Related Sources
- Angela's blog
- Login or register to post comments
Comments
I think a lot of our feelings
I think a lot of our feelings on topics like this are a direct result of what society tells us about love and romance as we're growing up. In my case, for example, I felt that when someone proposed to me, it would have to be a totally romantic surprise, almost something I didn't even see coming, because that's how it seemed to happen on TV and the movies. As I grew older, I worried about when this day would come. How could I say yes confidently if it was a surprise? What if I didn't want to marry the guy? It's like I took myself out of the proposal equation completely, I was just the passive receiver being proposed to and the only say I had in the matter was a stressful yes or no.
The way it *actually* happened was my then-boyfriend began discussing marriage with me in our second year of dating. We talked about it openly more and more. By the time I got back from my study abroad semester, we both knew we wanted to be together forever. We talked about timeframes and buying rings. He didn't feel comfortable picking out a ring for me, so one day when we were already in the mall together, we went and looked at rings together. A few weeks later there was a sale, we bought one, and sent it off to have it re-sized. At that point, it didn't really seem like there was much "proposing" left to do! I actually put the ring on my own card! =) But there was still a part of me that wanted that traditional man-to-woman, down on one knee, surprise proposal, so I told my boyfriend that it would be nice if he would propose officially. He picked up the ring from being resized and it sat in his room for a few weeks before he surprised me with his proposal after I got home one night. He got down and one knee and had prepared a little something to say, and it was very sweet =)
In the end, it was less about having that "perfect" proposal that I had dreamed of as a little girl, and more about making a happy memory with my husband-to-be! So I think whatever way a couple can make that happy memory happen should be up to them. Things don't always pan out the way you expect. Maybe you meet a guy who is terrified of proposing, or who just didn't grow up with that in his mind as a societal norm. Whatever the case, I say be open to all possibilities =)