The Way Men View Women

I want to start off by saying that this is not going to be a completely biased, man-bashing rant from a scorned woman. Almost nothing bothers me more than blatant generalizations and conclusions that arise out of emotions rather than a basis in reality. The reason I’m bringing this up is because of a trend I’ve begun to notice in the past year, and as with all my observations, I wonder if it’s just me. So I’ll ask you: Is it just me, or do men see women in black and white?

Pop culture and personal experiences have caused me to form the opinion that a lot of men lump women into one of two groups. In a male’s eyes we’re either angels or demons, virgins or whores. Either a woman is wholesome and has nothing but good intentions, or everything she does is shady and lacking morality. A man holds a woman in high esteem until she does one questionable thing, and then her entire character is questionable as well. He doesn’t think: “Why did she do that?” but “What kind of person is she really?”

I’m quite irritated with pop culture. More often than not I see that it perpetuates social issues. I listen to hip-hop and it seems ever more popular for rappers to discuss women who have given up their virtues for fame and fortune. People like Kanye West and Jay Z use verses to comment on how lamentable it is that good girls have gone bad. Up-and-coming artist Wale has an entire song (“90210”) about the subject on his new album. And it is lamentable when women choose “success” over self-worth, but where are the corresponding verses about the gangsters in the 'hood who never had any virtues to begin with?

Recently I parted ways with an old friend because the way she’d been treating me for years gradually caused my love to grow cold. I’d unsuccessfully tried to get through to her several times. An apology and some improvement would have restored us. That never came. What did come was a vicious email from her husband, attacking my character from every side and accusing me of simply being a cruel you know what. I’d visited them just a few weeks prior and when I was leaving he gave me a hug and told me he loved me. One action he didn’t understand turned me from an angel to a demon, someone he loved to someone he hated.

If every woman in America were as chaste, sincere, and virtuous as possible I’m not sure it would make much difference because let’s be honest – leadership and decision making is mostly in the hands of men. Please understand - I’m equally as frustrated with women who typify males, but the bottom line is we all need to do our best to work toward balance and objectivity when it comes to societal issues instead of placing blame or making excuses. We need to spend less time judging and more time putting some serious thought into how we treat each other.

-Vanessa is a blogger for The Sorbate. Check out her bio to see where her view comes from.

Related Links

A Call Girl's Opinion, New York Post

Who You Callin' A Lady?, Newsweek

Gender Issues and Double Standards, Real Clear Politics