“I shouldn’t be telling you this…” “Did you hear about…”  “You’re never going to believe...” “You promise not to tell…” “I heard that…”
 

Gossip! Tsismis! Chisme! That’s what it is!
 

So how do you cope with gossip?
 

According to Dr. Les Parrot III, author of High Maintenance Relationships (p. 79-87) and founder of the Center of Relationship Development in Seattle Pacific University, here’s how:

1. "Recognize the Gossip Within"
People are tempted to gossip because it gives them instant power, but what people don’t realize is that as soon as the gossip is uttered their power diminishes.
 

2. "Don’t Just Sit There, Say Something"
If you are in the receiving end, stick up or defend the person in question.
 

3. "Lay off the Guilt Trip"
Instead of being confrontational, tell the gossip you accept what they saw and then provide them with an example and hopefully they accept what you saw. (Example: Good thing you caught the mistake Bob made. I had a chance to work with him and he actually caught one of my mistakes.)
 

4. "Have a Parachute Plan"
Don’t say anything and keep walking.  
 

5. "Assess Your Corporate Climate"
You might have to accept that this is the culture of your workplace.  You either accept it or look for another job.
 

6. "Create Your Own Climate"
Once you decided not to partake in gossip without offending anyone, people start treating you differently and change the subject when you are present.
 

7. "Cut Off Gossips at the Pass"
When gossips tell you the usual lines, you respond: “Then don’t tell me.” “No, I can’t keep a secret.” “She’s a real nice person and anyone who speaks ill of her is a jerk.”
 

8. "Do You Gain from Gossip?"
You might like the attention you get by being talked about.
 

9. "Find the Good in Gossip"
It’s a cultural norm. It keeps us informed and updated.
 

10. "Leave No Dirt to Dish"
Be an open book, that way gossips won’t have anything to talk about.
 

11. "Know Whom to Tell Your Secrets to"
Share your secrets only to a trustworthy person. A person who reveals small secrets of others to you, probably isn’t the person to reveal secrets to.
 

12.  "If It’s Serious and Personal, Act Quickly"
If the gossip is damaging to one’s reputation, confront it immediately. Holding a news conference or public meeting would be wise if the gossip as spread throughout the masses.
 

13. "Find Comfort in God"
Trust in God.
 

This seemed to be my source of comfort when I was the subject of gossip.  I knew that God, and not what others thought of me determined my value.  When it comes down to it, other people do not really know everything I go through and only I, myself, and God know my deepest thoughts and desires.
 

People who don’t have anything better to do in their lives gossip. So, while others are busy talking, I want to be busy living.
 

What do you think?
 

Sources:

Parrott, L. (1996). High maintenance relationships: how to handle impossible people (p.79-87). Wheaton, Illinois.  

Other Related Articles:

Be Careful With That Gossip, Selfhelp Magazine

Gossip- true or not true, it displays insecurity, Fourth Estate Newspaper

Why People Gossip at the Office, theprofessionalassistant.net