Are Children Becoming Out of Control?
Submitted by Erin on Mon, 09/13/2010 - 12:30
When I was growing up and my mother took me out in public, there were certain rules I had to abide by. If I didn’t keep my hands to myself, keep my voice down, and generally blend in with the rest of the atmosphere, I was taken home and punished. Usually, punishments were making me stay inside on a nice day or, if I was really misbehaving, the threat of a spanking got me to straighten up really quickly.
Now I can honestly say that I wasn’t raised in a family that believes in hitting, but the threat that it could happen was all I needed. I never pushed the limit past, “If you don’t stop right now, I’ll pull this car over and spank you!” because, let’s face it, why would I want to get smacked? But in the last few years, I feel like parents have become convinced that outrageous, downright annoying behavior is just part of growing up. I understand kids have energy, they can be rambunctious, and are not always easily reasoned with. That’s all fine and good in the comfort of your own home and even in public to a certain extent, but when you’re out in public where other people who may not want to experience all the joys of child raising, is it too much to ask that children be controlled?
Recently, restaurants have been putting up signs banning screaming children. In one bar in Brooklyn, signs posted read, “… in part, that though the establishment is quite sure their customers' babies were "really mature for their age," they are just not old enough to legally drink alcohol.” Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with this, or with restaurants that employ a policy requiring parents to take screaming children outside until they calm down. As someone who has no children, and has no plans to have children, I don’t think it’s fair to have to deal with hyperactive, sugar-addled tots running around a restaurant screaming and bumping into people (I’ve actually witnessed this!) while their parents smile and go about their business. Much like most problems, ignoring children does not make the issue go away.
Am I the only person out there who doesn’t want to deal with children when I’m trying to enjoy myself? People who are upset about this, I think, are the same people who think their children should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they want. Parenting has been something of a joke recently, with parents letting the children take the reins and develop at their own pace, regardless of how their behavior affects the people around them. I think it’s time for parents to take some responsibility for their children’s behavior, and if that means restaurants and bars need to point out their child’s behavior issues, then so be it.
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Comments
I think it's a good practice
I think it's a good practice on self-control for the children to be taught to behave themselves. It teaches them to be aware of others. But I also suspect that biologically speaking, there's a certain age where that finally becomes easier for them to grasp. Until then, parents will have to keep trying.
I believe kids need some time to goof off, but if I were the parent, I'd allot a set amount of time in a certain space to let them do that.
We don't want to restrict the
We don't want to restrict the children so much and suffocate their energy, but if they get to the point where their screams and behaviors affect other people's right to enjoy themselves, the parents should keep hold of their children. But I do agree that many parents are less scary or strict with telling the children not to do something. We have the words "freedom" and "living your own life" in our heads as the most important things that it might not feel right for us to be too strict with out children. Also, now that a lot of parents are immersed in their careers while raising the children, it is hard for them to keep an eye on their kids all the time. So, child-raising becomes somewhat of a lax affair. But I think there are pros and cons for this issue. Although we might make the children more independent and free to run wild with their imagination and creativity, we might also drive them to loneliness and the feeling that they lack guidance.
To add to your point about
To add to your point about parenting becoming more lax because of work and careers, I think children are more out of control now because they spend more time plopped in front of a TV or computer and less time playing outside, getting all that energy out. I think maybe our generation was less hyper because we played outside more, we didn't spend our days learning from computer screens and playing video games all summer.