Dazed and Confused

I often find myself looking around and lamenting about the state of the world today and wondering why no one notices the beauty and sadness in everyday life. I was very dramatic in my teenage years, so much of these thoughts must have carried over. What bothers me the most is that I wander the city and see every person almost desensitize themselves to their surroundings and focus only on their destinations. This leads me to all sorts of questions: who is this person? Where are they rushing off to? What could possibly be so important that they can't even seem to notice what a lovely day we're having? And most of all, why would this person want to ignore the world around them?
 
Most of us have experienced a feeling of passivity while watching TV or riding the bus. That feeling of “zoning out” and purposely getting lost in your thoughts; but could this be applied to life itself? Can you live passively? I feel like everyone has an addiction to drama, even in the slightest. It's that rush of losing control of the situation. The pit of your stomach dropping, your mind and heart racing—that's pure emotion. When you're able to gain control again, that weight of anxiety being lifted, you feel powerful. While it's wonderful to give into your emotions now and then and just feel, it distracts you from realizing what's outside of your mind. Is this a good or bad thing?
 
Passive viewing is a mindset that one puts themselves in, they tune out the outer world and focus solely on themselves. I've walked around the city before and I notice that those running off to their destinations have a look of stress, determination, and a bit of fear. It's this fear that causes them to look away nervously if you accidentally catch their eye. When I was younger, I would sometimes make it my goal each morning to smile or say good morning to as many people as possible in the hopes that it would brighten their day. There were many that returned my smile with a nod or an occasional “good morning,” but there was also a great deal of people that looked away or even looked annoyed that I would disturb them. Perhaps some were having bad morning, but I wonder if it was a partial fear of connecting with another for even a second.
 
Maybe it's not so terrible to give up logic and free-thought here and there; it's so difficult to survive reality when it can be so harsh. Why wouldn't you want to let go for a moment and escape into any sort of mind state, fantasy or not? To be completely honest, this particular notion of to passively be or not to be is one that I can give no conclusion on. As I grow older, life continues to gain complexities beyond my control. As I frequently try to grasp what sense of reality I have left, I sometimes choose to let my stress and fear take hold of me. I give in to the drama rather than stepping back and noticing that I am grasping for any sort of escape for the reality of desensitization that obligations and adult life has presented me with.
 
It's a spectrum of drama and desensitization, and both of them are just forms of escape. There is good and bad to each side, there's no right or wrong way to live, only choices. The only thing you can do is wait for a good moment to come along, a moment of inspiration and grasp on to it, those are a natural rush and they need to be savored. You just have to remember not to get too caught up, and lose the ability to embrace a good thing when it comes around.