How To Be A Woman Today

“43 Simple Ways to Look Younger,” “57 Smart Buys To Refresh Your Look,” “Bikini Ready By May 1st,” “Diet Alert,” “Don’t Be Shy, Gain Control At Work, With Friends, In Bed,” “Drop 10 Pounds This Month,” “First Take Off His Pants,” “Hot New Looks,” “Look Casually Sexy,” “Sexy Eyes,” “The Age Issue”
 
Sound familiar?  
 
These feature article titles were compiled from, Allure, Cosmopolitan, Elle, Glamour, Lucky, Marie Claire, Redbook, Self, Shape, and Vogue, through an incredibly fast and easy method; barely any research at all. I simply glanced at the covers.
 
The overall message these magazines seem to collectively give is that Diet, Sex and a heightened sense of your Personal Appearance at all times = skinny, sexy, being fashionable and yes, not being young, but looking young = model type success. I mean have you seen the photos they use in conjunction with these articles?
 
Not only do these magazines bore holes in how we see ourselves physically – hence the obsession with weight loss – they critique how we should be performing sexually, with articles that follow us into the private recesses of our rooms, “Wicked Things Other Women Do In Bed,” (Cosmopolitan). An article topic like this also pits the idea of: ‘who I am as a woman’ up against what other, more sexier and exciting, women are doing behind doors. Whether or not these sexy, exciting women are real is beside the point. Or how we should look, dress and behave. And if we’re in any way lacking in any of these areas, well, apply to the nunnery ladies, because if you’re not thin, touching his groin properly or stylish, it all equals to some major failure as to what a successful modern day woman is suppose to be.   
 
Titles like, “9 Secret Things Men Love About Marriage,” from Redbook magazine, sets up false expectations in relationships. These types of articles seem to filter out or at least dilute our own experiences. It steals from us the ability to feel confident and sincere in what we have felt and know to what we have read in the pages of these magazines.    
 
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that this blog might be an unfair exaggeration. Some magazines like Oprah’s, O has titles like “What’s Your True Calling?” But even Oprah, as intelligent, successful, influential and as conscientious as she is, also has incredible body issues. “What’s Your True Calling,” shares the same cover as, “The Vitamin That Helps You Lose Weight.” Self magazine has cover titles like, “A Healthier Happier You,” highlighting the brain boosting benefits of exercising, which I read, enjoyed and thought was very interesting. But when I stopped reading and looked at the pictures, there’s a beautiful model in a two piece aerobics uniform, not an inch of fat on her, everything femininely toned…and then I feel…inadequate. I’m 125lbs, 5’1, and in these moments I feel incredibly fat – call me a cliché – despite how many people tell me that I’m intelligent and funny or how sexy my boyfriend thinks I am, or how many doctors tell me I’m healthy at my weight. And sometimes at my more confident moments, I believe these things about myself…I still pinch my stomach and have anxiety ridden attacks when faced with picking out an outfit.
 
Fashion magazines were never meant to be cerebral. They’re full of pictures, and I understand that the whole purpose is to sell an image – but along with that image also comes the hefty price of an idea. More correctly, an ideal.