The True Meaning of Success

“Go to school, get good grades, graduate, go to college, repeat, and upon graduation from college, find a good, secure job to support you and your family.”  This process is the formula for success, according to my parents (and other parents, for that matter) as well as past teachers. Occasionally, I will have some parents come up to me, whether it is an aunt or a co-worker, asking me for advice on getting their kids to “succeed.”  Sometimes I get asked by the kids themselves. They know that I have had a pretty successful academic career. I became college-driven starting in my elementary school years and by junior high I knew that I wanted to attend one of the University of California campuses.  I then became highly involved in various extracurricular activities in and out of school, landed at the top four percent of my class, graduated from high school with numerous awards and recognitions, and after years of strong diligence, dedication, and hard work, received full financial aid to attend the University of California, Irvine. I finally achieved my goal! My parents and I were bursting with pride.

My college experience was unlike anything I had expected. Initially, I applied for college looking for a higher education. Honestly, I just thought it would be like high school but with less drama and more fun. I was right about the less drama and more fun, but I also began to receive lessons, however, on something much more significant than anything you can find in a regular class textbook.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, college was teaching me lessons on life!

Now, what do I mean by this you say? By life lessons I do not mean things like how to cook, buy a house, or save money—unfortunately, I did not learn any of those in college! Nor do I mean the type of advice parents give you about who to be friends with or being careful whenever I went out. On the contrary (or maybe, in addition to what I learned from my family and religious values), by “life lessons” I mean things like knowing to surround myself with people who pour out nothing but positivity, support, and love. Being away from home enabled me to cherish my family for their unconditional love and support. I flourished in college, much more so than in high school because I was free from the watchful eyes of my parents, and free from constant gossip, peer pressure, the expectation to conform, and other superficial and insignificant things. My social, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and leadership skills were harnessed and strengthened. I found out that I need not sweat the small stuff. I learned that acing that really hard sociology paper was NOT the most important thing in the world, and graduating cum laude was not my goal.  In fact, even upon deciding my major of study, sociology and a minor in political science, I really did not know what I wanted to do after I graduated.  I experienced so many different things, been to many places, and met so many different people from all different walks of life—all of which have helped shaped me into the woman I have become today.

After I finally graduated from the University of California, Irvine back in 2004, I still did not know what I wanted to do or what I wanted to be! I could not answer seemingly easy questions such as “what are you going to do now?” or “where do you want to work?” I came to dread such inquiries. Due to the versatility of my degree, so many options and opportunities were open to me that I simply could not decide. I swayed back and forth from such ideas as going into the criminology sector, becoming a paralegal, or pursuing a career as a social worker. Ultimately I decided on “none of the above” and have been “stuck” in my current position in a fairly well-paying job at a nonprofit hospital that utilizes (most of) my skills, experience, knowledge, and assets.

Even though I am content, I have not settled into my current lifestyle. I have yet to reach my dreams! I learned throughout my years in college and even to this day that, although I need to learn from my past and prepare for my future, the most important thing is to remember that I am currently living in God’s gift—the present—so I must take full advantage of it. I am constantly searching in the world, as well as within myself, for how I want to live out the rest of my life. The old “success formula” is a thing of the past. So, to all those people who ask me about my success: my real, true “success” is that I am happy. It is happiness—not a college degree or a well-paying, prestigious job—that matters most in life. My advice is to be happy in all that you do, and help your children do the same.