Wasted Potential

Last Thursday, while I was at work, my husband messaged me from home. He said he thought there must have been a car accident or something down the street. There was a loud noise, the apartment shook, and a bunch of emergency vehicles had arrived shortly after, he told me. A few minutes later, there was a flurry of chatter in my office. My co-workers were talking about what had really happened on our street that morning; not a car accident, but a small plane crashing into an office building.

The details of the crash unfolded over the next few hours as we all checked the news updates. At first, there was no reason to believe it wasn't just an accident. A similar accident had even happened the day before in Palo Alto, CA. Unfortunately, the cause of the incident turned out to be much more troubling than mere coincidence. Investigators soon discovered that the man flying the plane had written a lengthy manifesto, posted it online, set his house on fire, and flown his plane into the Echelon building intentionally. His note detailed his life of hardships and injustices at the hands of the IRS, which explained his target of the IRS office located in that building.

It's hard for me to imagine the thoughts that would drive a person to do something so drastic for such a cause. After discussing the topic with a friend and hearing some additional commentary on the radio on my extended drive home on Thursday, the theory I feel most comfortable with is that a person like that must become so internalized on their own problems and their own world view that they lose the ability to view themselves objectively. They start to see their problems and society's flaws as hopeless. They feel powerless, like pawns in a chess match. They only see one way out. They forget that there is always a choice. Instead, they only see ultimatums and absolutes. A reasonable person could have explained to this man that he could have made much more progress towards the spread of his ideals over the course of his lifetime. He could have spoken with others, rallied protests, lead online movements, and challenged politicians and other things that, according to his manifesto, he attempted in his youth but was quickly disillusioned by. He grew to believe that every method but the most extreme would mean he was willing to be that pawn and let the flawed world keep turning.

In the end, this man did spread his message to a lot of people through the exposure of the incident on the news. Many of my co-workers who may never have met him in their life did read his manifesto and were exposed to his ideas on Thursday, but now they can only see those ideas as coming from a mentally unstable person, selfish enough to harm others over his own beliefs. They're not about to add their “body to the count” in order to make the “IRS man” take notice. If everything this man wrote about was true, and our country is truly as corrupt as he believed it was, then I do not think his cause was unworthy. I just feel that to sacrifice one's life for a cause before it is absolutely necessary is an extreme waste of the power and potential for change that we are all capable of. And there is no cause worthy of taking innocent lives.