The Taboo of Women's Facial Hair
Submitted by Natalie on Mon, 06/21/2010 - 12:30
I was watching an old episode of 30 Rock the other day, in which Tina Fey's character Liz Lemon brought out her “friend Tom,” as in Tom Selleck, the name she gave her natural mustache. She revealed her mustache by “doing nothing for 48 hours.” While I appreciated the show for addressing the plight of women's facial hair in a lighthearted way, I didn't like the way it was implied that Liz was the only woman in the studio with natural facial hair, and that she was somehow keeping that gross detail a secret.
I would argue that women's facial hair is in the upper tier of taboo conversation topics about women, and yet it's something that so many women have to deal with. Somehow, facial hair isn't treated like other unwanted hair on a woman's body. If I don't feel like shaving my legs, I might just be seen as lazy, unconcerned with my appearance, or even the slightly flattering “au natural.” It's common knowledge that all women have to make an effort to keep their legs and underarms silky smooth, and even men can't escape the barrage of ads for products to help manage those hairy areas. But a woman with occasional facial hair? Gross. Disgusting. Abnormal. Let the bearded lady jokes commence.
Despite my fine, lighter-colored hair, I've long suffered from my own share of unwanted facial hair. Flash back to my freshman year in high school: I was already bleaching my upper lip, self-conscious about the wispy, slightly dark peach fuzz that had started to appear there. As long as it was bleached, however, it was so fair and fine that I thought it was surely unnoticeable. That is, until one day in biology class, when the afternoon light must have been shining in through the window onto my face at just the right angle, prompting the boy who sat across from me to say, “You've got a mustache,” over and over. My insistence that I did not have a mustache, thank you very much, fell on deaf ears. What my frustrated 14-year-old self really wanted to cry out was “I'm bleaching it, what else am I supposed to do?!” Needless to say, I've been extra self-conscious since that embarrassing day.
These days, I use a small electric trimmer to keep my upper lip under control, and tweeze away the weird stray hairs that pop up on my chin. This is the one step of my beauty regimen (if you can call it that) which I have still made an effort to hide from my husband. Does he know I have any facial hair? Does he know that lots of women do? Does he notice when I am lazy and it starts to show up again? Does he think it's gross? I have no idea. I hope I gather the courage to bring it up someday, and I'm sure he'll be sweet and understanding about it, but I wish I didn't feel like it wasn't some secret that I have to keep or reveal.
Over the years, formerly taboo women's topics like shaving, menstruation, pregnancy, and contraception have made their way into mainstream media and conversation, thanks to a combination of feminist movements and ubiquitous advertising. Does women's facial hair stand a chance of revoking its unspeakable status? Would a constant stream of upper lip laser hair removal ads make women feel less self-conscious about their hair, or just reinforce the status quo and unnatural standard of beauty? Or are some beauty regimes better left undiscussed all together?
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Comments
This is such an interesting
This is such an interesting topic to bring up... I read the title and was 'Yes! Let's SO talk about this.'
I, too, have one of those adolescent embarrassing stories where a classmate made up a SONG about my underarm hair, sang it in front of me, and got other people to join in. I didn't even know it was about me until someone felt sorry enough to tell me. I was MORTIFIED.
What was worse was that my mother who was an immigrant from the Philippines, had grown up in a culture/family where shaving was a taboo topic and so there I was, in the American culture, with no idea how to get my hands on shaving materials let alone how to use them.
I know ever know if facial hair will ever be a topic that is as casual as say, men shaving, but who knows. Here's hoping...
Thanks so much for the
Thanks so much for the comment, Rae! I think it's a testament to how taboo this topic is that I was hesitant to write about it, and I'm still hesitant to post a link to this article on my facebook =) It's great to hear someone else can relate!
I was very fortunate in that my mom was pretty open about shaving and hair control, mostly because she has very thick dark hair and has had to deal with it her whole life. But it's definitely one of those topics that kind of gets overlooked for adolescent. Sex ed classes might teach young girls about what to expect when they get their period (can you imagine not knowing what was going on? thank goodness for sex ed!), and how to deal with it, but as far as hair goes, it's usually just explained that hair will grow in new places. I don't remember being told what to do with that hair when it arrives! We don't even know we're supposed to get rid of it until a more "mature" female classmate or stupid boy makes an embarrassing or mean comment about it. Then it's up to us to approach a parent or older friend to figure out what to do next. And sometimes, like in my case, whatever we decide to do isn't even good enough to appease those stupid boys! Hair taboo is the worst!
At least we can take comfort in knowing that future generations have access to the internet! And hopefully, if people like us have daughters someday, we'll be able to help them with this frustrating aspect of womanhood.