The Moderate Homemaker

The internet has been all abuzz over the recent Salon article entitled “I am a Radical Homemaker failure," in which the author, Madeline Holler, describes her aversion and inability to commit to the recent DIY, eco-friendly, homesteading sustainability movement. She is tired of feeling pressure to bake her own bread, drive an old car, grow her own food, and do a variety of other activities that have been deemed “socially responsible.” Among other complaints, she describes such a lifestyle as time-consuming, anxiety-inducing, and just plain exhausting. Where modern innovations have saved homemakers time and energy, the “radical homemaker” movement looks to fill that time back up with manual labor. While I have been a big personal fan of the practices of sustainability over the past few years, the article made me aware of some of my own bitterness towards this movement.

My feelings towards sustainability blossomed in college, where I began feeling compelled to recycle and started to really think about about where my food and other products came from and how they were made. Lately, though, rather than feeling proud of my consciousness as a consumer, I mostly feel guilty about the things I can’t or won’t change. It’s a difficult thing living in a society that is pressuring me to be conscious of all my actions while simultaneously refusing to make any changes itself. As a result, I feel guilty for every non-recyclable piece of plastic I have to throw in the trash. I feel guilty for machine-drying my clothes instead of finding a way to dry them around the apartment (my complex won’t let me line-dry clothes on my balcony). I feel guilty when I’m too hungry and exhausted to figure out which jar of peanut butter is most local, organic, healthy, and affordable and just choose the store brand.

Women seem especially susceptible to these feelings of guilt. Even as women transition into full-time careers, the home often remains the woman’s domain. So when it comes to things like purchases for household items and dealing with household chores, women are often the decision-makers in the family. Furthermore, from a young age we women are encouraged to put the needs of others before our own. Now, instead of the category of “others” including just our immediate family, friends, and coworkers, it also includes such broad and vague entities as the health of the environment, the American economy, and the well-being of all members of the global society. Essentially, I find myself feeling guilty every time I value my time and energy more than the activities which will benefit society, the economy, and the environment. And that is no way to live.

What is a socially conscious, but already-exhausted working woman to do? Out of all the responses and comments I’ve seen regarding Holler’s controversial article, the ones I’ve appreciated most have been those that promote the old adage “all things in moderation.” Choose the modern solutions that make your life easier and happier. Do what is manageable for you to make a positive impact and lessen your negative impact as a person. Do what works for you, and leave the rest with no guilt attached.

We only get one life on this Earth. If being even a moderately “radical” homemaker is giving you more negative feelings than positive, take some time to step back and balance things back out. It’s so important to help preserve the planet for future generations, but not at the expense of all of our happiness during our turn. Besides, keeping a positive attitude towards living sustainably and spreading that attitude to others could end up being so much more powerful than any recycling, canning, or farming we may ever do.